Waking up in the van today to my alarm was so refreshing! Sure it’s not so comfortable to sleep in just yet, but the fact that it is my own place and I have all my things with me balances it out. The day was smooth and mellow, and all day I just felt complacent. I talked with her for a while last night and I gathered from the conversation that she is still confused. I explained to her that while she is single she should explore all options and not decide on anything, and that I would like to start hanging it again instead of allowing the distance between us to grow stronger. Tonight she was going to let me know about hanging out but I never heard from her, I can only assume she went with him instead, but I need to keep that out of my mind.
I had my lunch break in the van today and caught the moon rising up in the sky, as always it was beautiful. The mood never disappoints when it’s coming up in the sky!
I really want to experience things in this van with her but the outlook of that has been looking worse and worse. I really hate that she has grown so close to him so quickly, but it’s only through my own actions that this has happened as I pushed her away by acting so overbearing. And once again the lesson learned looks to have been learned to late. I hope we get a chance to do some cool stuff in the van together but for now, I have to find other people to enjoy it with, maybe eventually it will feel normal.
Thursday will be the first time I have had someone new over to hang out and enjoy the comforts that the van has to offer. This girl I met through work is going to come hang out and I am trying to come up with ideas of what we could do. I was thinking just parking and talking and whatever at the coast would be pretty good, maybe get some food and take it with us. We shall see!
Van Living 